All's Fair in Love and War
by Snow White2
Summary: A short story about Raph and Kelen. Should they get together? Your choice! Takes place after Sleeping Outside. Please R/R!


*Disclaimer: Yeah, I know, another story. This is my last day of Spring Break though, so my life should resume its normal, boring schedule soon enough. Oh, right, the point. I still don't own the ninja turtles. I have the strangest feeling I never will. *Tear.  
  
Note: This story should turn out happier than the last. However happiness and I have been arguing a little lately. So it may or may not decide to cooperate.  
  
Lauren sat at her computer. Hopelessly clicking away at the keys. Kelen burst into her room, a bounce in her step. "Do you knock?" Lauren asked, a little paranoid that Kelen could be so happy. Kelen responded, "I would think you know me better. What's eating you?" Lauren gave up and shut her computer off. "Try a five page report and a broken computer," She said, flopping onto her bed. "Ouch, no thanks. Lauren, you know nothing about computers. I mean, you have a better chance of getting a date than fixing the computer. And those are tough odds." Kelen put her arms over her head as Lauren leapt off the bed and tackled her to the ground. "Give me good advice now before I am forced to inflict pain on you!" Lauren yelled, holding Kelen by her shirt collar. Kelen burst into fits of laughter. Lauren gave her a look, and Kelen managed to contain herself. "Why don't you call Donny?" she suggested. Lauren blinked. Now she felt like an idiot. Donny lived a few blocks away, so to speak, and Lauren was convinced he knew everything. Yes, everything. Kelen rolled her eyes. She untangled herself from Lauren's death grip on her shirt. While Lauren still sat bewildered on why she hadn't thought of that sooner, Kelen went to a phone. She muttered something that sounded like 'blonde' while dialing the numbers. She put the phone to her ear. It rang once. Twice. And someone picked up on the third.  
  
"Yeah?" came a voice from the other line. Kelen smiled. "Hello to you to Mr. Wonderful. Is Donny home?" she responded to Raph's annoyed answer.  
  
"Maybe, why?" he asked. "Gee, Raph, I don't know. I just felt like calling to see if he was around. That's all," she said sarcastically, "Lauren's computer is broken and she has a report to type. So is he home or not?" she wanted to know. "Yeah, I'll send him over. So ya hanging out at Lauren's?" Raph tried to sound like he didn't care about talking to her. "Please, I practically live here. I don't hang out, I move in," They both laughed. "So," Raph said again, "you're going to hang out with the blonde and the geek today?" Kelen shuddered. Good point, she thought. "Unless you want to save me from a cruel and unusual death, yes. Please come too!" Raph smiled, good, that had been his intention. "I don't know, I'm kinda busy," he lied. "Raph, if you know what's good for you, you will show up with Donny. Otherwise, I will resort to other methods," she threatened. "Blackmail?" Raph guessed. "You got it." came the answer. "What do you possibly have to blackmail me with?" he asked, a little nervous. "Wouldn't you like to know?" she said. Her response was followed by a click and a dial tone. Raph hung up the phone. "Donny!" he yelled, "We're going to Lauren's!"  
  
On the other line, Kelen also hung up and returned to Lauren. "Is he coming?" Lauren asked. "Yeah," Kelen told her, "Raph is coming too."  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Raph and Donny showed up at Lauren's house, which was much to big for just Lauren to live in. Donny rang the doorbell. "Why are you here again?" he asked Raph. Raph pulled down the brim of his fedora. "Kelen threatened me. She didn't want to be stuck with you and Lauren. What could I do?" he snapped. Don smiled. Everyone knew he liked Kelen. Of course they had to threaten his CD's, but they had gotten him to admit he liked her. Or was 'fond of her' as Raph put it. Lauren and Kelen didn't know of course, but Mikey was sure to blab soon enough.  
  
Lauren flung open the door. She grabbed Donny's sleeve and pulled him inside and upstairs. Kelen poked her head around the doorway. "I didn't know Lauren could move that fast," she said raising an eyebrow. Raph stepped inside and shrugged. "What's up?" he asked, taking off his trench coat. Kelen jumped, "Goodness aren't we talkative today! Are you feeling well?" she teased. Raph rolled his eyes and hid a smile. Kelen laughed. She had an amazing smile. One that made most guys turn to jello, even if they didn't know her. She was beautiful, but she didn't know it. Raph kind of liked that she didn't know it. It made her, humble, in a way. "So, what do you want to do?" she asked him. Raph shrugged, "I dunno." She thought for a moment. "We could talk," she suggested. "I already know everything about you, I'm sure of it this time," he informed her. He plopped down next to her on the couch. "Really?" she asked. He nodded. "What's my middle name, and how did I get my first name?" she quizzed him, narrowing her eyes. He stared blankly at the wall for a minute. "Maria, and a baby book," he guessed, sounding completely serious. Kelen laughed. "Wrong!" she said. "Are you going to tell me now?" Raph asked. "Do you want to know?" she shot back. That left him in an awkward position. He adjusted his weight a little and said, "Sure, why not." "Okay," she said, "my middle name is Cameron, first of all." Raph raised an eye ridge. "Now I'm going to tell you how I got both of those names." She said, seeing his confusion. "The doctors told my parents they were going to have a boy. My dad really wanted to name me Cameron. My mom finally gave in. She kind of thought the doctors were wrong and made him promise that if it was a girl, they would me Kelly Ann. When I was born, my dad suddenly hated the name Kelly Ann, and still wanted to name me Cameron. My mom fortunately had more will power than that. So my middle name became Cameron, and they combined Kelly Ann to get Kelen." "Cool." Raph said. "Still think you know everything about me?" Kelen asked. Raph nodded again. Kelen shut her eyes and said, "What color are my eyes?" Raph leaned back, he knew this one. "They're brown and green." he said. Kelen opened her eyes. No one had ever correctly guessed the color of her eyes. They either said brown, or green, but never both. "How did you know that?" she asked, knitting her brow. 'Great Raph, just great' he thought. "Uh," how was supposed to tell her? Just say 'because you have beautiful eyes and I always find myself staring into them?' That wasn't going to work. "Just cause, I do, I guess. I mean, you've got kinda pretty eyes," he stumbled over each word. "Ooohhh, Raph, that's like, the nicest thing I've heard you say, ever. Maybe you have a heart after all." Kelen was an expert at breaking up awkward moments. That one was going on her college resume someday. Raph blushed. He couldn't believe he just said that. "Raph, it's okay, believe it or not, to say something nice every once in a while. I promise not to ever use it for blackmail. You have my solemn vow." She said, raising her right hand in a Boy Scout manner, and saluting with the left. They both laughed. Raph found himself laughing more and more with Kelen. They both sat there for a minute, just smiling. Kelen looked at the ceiling. "Those two have been awfully quiet," she noticed. "What are you suggesting?" Raph asked. "That we do something mean and vile," she stated. She got up from the couch and opened the refrigerator. She pulled out a bottle of chocolate sauce, and a can of whip cream. An evil grin spread across her face. "This is kind of a joke between me and Lauren. Donny just happens to be in the middle of it." Raph walked over next to her and pointed to the picture of she and Lauren after the food fight. "Like that?" he asked. "Yep," she smiled, "Exactly like that." She shoved the can of whip cream at him. And motioned for him to follow her upstairs.  
  
When they got upstairs, Kelen quietly set her bottle of chocolate sauce on the steps. "We have to get them to come down to the kitchen, Lauren will kill me if I stain the carpet again." "Again?" Raph asked. "Long story," she whispered. "I'll get them to come downstairs. You just wait in the kitchen. I'll give a signal." Raph nodded and headed back downstairs. He was liking this girl more every minute.  
  
"Hey guys," Kelen said, upon entering Lauren's room. "How's the computer stuff going?" "Okay," said Donny, "Any reason you're up here?"  
  
"Nope," Kelen lied. "So what have you and Raph been doing?" Lauren asked. "Just talking. Oh, yeah, there is a reason I'm up here. Could you guys come down to the kitchen?" Lauren and Donny eyed each other. "Why?" Lauren asked. "Because we want to spray you guys with whip cream and chocolate, but we didn't want to stain the carpet," Kelen said, telling the complete truth. "Ha, Ha," Lauren snickered, remembering the joke, "What happened, really?" she asked. "I just told you," Kelen said. Lauren knew she and Raph must have made a mess out something big if they were using that excuse to get them to come downstairs. Lauren rolled her eyes, and she and Donny followed her out of the room. Kelen picked up her chocolate sauce on the way down. "What is that for?" Donny asked. "I already told you guys, weren't you listening?" They reached the bottom of the steps and started into the kitchen. "Yeah but-…" Lauren started; Kelen saying, "Now Raph!" cut her off. Lauren screamed as Kelen and Raph sprayed them with ice cream novelties. Donny ducked and tried to avoid them, but Raph wasn't letting that happen. When they had finished everyone was laughing hysterically. Lauren was an incredibly good sport about this stuff. So Donny went along. Kelen placed a cherry on top of Lauren's head. "There, now you're a big sundae!" Kelen informed her. "Thanks for noticing," Lauren replied. Kelen gave Raph a high five and put her arm around his shoulder. "You guys know you're dead, right?" Donny asked. "Totally worth it!" Kelen said back. "Besides, you can't say I didn't warn you." Kelen was right. " I am never going to trust you again!" Lauren yelled, adding a smile. "At least I'm honest," she said. A grin spread across Lauren's face. "Donny, will you come with me?" she asked. They both headed into the back yard. "What are they going to do to us?" Raph asked her, finally getting the courage to out his arm around her waist. "Who knows," she said. "But it better be good, I could use a good practical joke, and Lauren's the queen of them." She smiled at Raph and took her arm away. Raph reluctantly slipped his arm off her waist. "And knowing Lauren, it's going to have to do something with water. Another joke that relates to the first time I stained the carpet," she said, "I'm not telling you what happened, and I'm going to change, because I don't want o be wearing a white top when it happens." She walked up to go change.  
  
Kelen returned a few minutes later in a black tube top and jeans. Raph seemed to like her outfit. "Now don't think I'm just going to let them get us, that is what wuss's do," she said on her way downstairs, "so we are resorting to spying and back firing the trick." Raph sighed, pretending to look disappointed, "If you insist," he said. She laughed, "Oh, I do. That's why I like you, you've got an evil mind like mine," she said casually. "Now, if they're in the backyard, we should go around front and climb the back gate, sound good?" "Fine," Raph said. Kelen led him around front and through the back gate. "See them?" Kelen asked. "Nope, hear them?" Raph asked back. They were nowhere in sight. A water drop fell from the sidewall. "What the heck?" Kelen said. Just then Donny and Lauren jumped off the wall, armed with hoses and water balloons. This time it was Kelen's turn to scream. Raph even screamed a little. The thing about water is, it doesn't run out like whip cream does. Kelen and Raph ran, trying to out run the length of the hose, when Kelen stumbled their stash of water balloons. Raph and Kelen started throwing them back at them, everyone erupting in fits of laughter. When the water balloons were gone, Lauren turned off the hose. "Half the point of that was because you were wearing a white top!" Lauren exclaimed to Kelen. "And I know you way to well, you definitely weren't going to let us get away with it, you had to come spying sooner or later," she added. "And what would you two have done while you were waiting?" Kelen asked. Donny pelted the last remaining water balloon at Kelen. She fell to the ground, as if dying from a bullet wound. Raph pulled her to her feet. This time it was Lauren and Donny's turn to high five. Kelen held onto to Raph's hand after he pulled her to her feet. "Well at least we were expecting it. You guys have no idea when we'll get you next!" Kelen exclaimed, running ideas through her mind already. "Is that a threat?" asked Donny.  
  
"It's a challenge!" she said, letting go of Raph's hand. "Well then, this means war!" Lauren yelled. Kelen nodded her head and led Raph back into the house. "You are so wet," he told her. "Thanks for letting me know, I might have missed it." She said, "So what are we going to do to them?" Raph gave his usual shrug. He glanced at the clock. Damn! He had promised Leo he'd be home for practice, Donny could stay and fix Lauren's computer. "I gotta go, practice," he said, gesturing to the clock. Kelen sighed. She hated to see him go. "Alright, we'll postpone the war to tomorrow," she told him. "Alright, later," he said. Kelen gave him a quick hug, which turned into a long embrace. "Bye," she said, pulling back. He let her go. "See ya," he said, and walked out the front door. She sighed again. An ah-hem interrupted her thoughts. She turned to find Donny and Lauren standing behind her. "Are you falling for him?" Lauren asked. Kelen smiled and shrugged. "Oh my god, you are!" Kelen smiled again. Then she looked at Donny, "Say a word and you're dead!" she yelled, panicked. "Don't worry, you're secrets safe with me," he told her. She smiled one last time and went upstairs to dry off.  
  
"Let me guess," Lauren said, "He likes her too?" Donny nodded and then laughed. "Are you going to set them up?" she asked. "No," Donny said, "I promised them both I wouldn't tell. " I didn't promise either of them anything," Lauren wondered out loud. "Are you going to set them up?" Donny asked her this time. "You've got to help me," she said. Donny agreed and their war quickly turned into a game of matchmaker.  
  
  
  
*So, what do you guys think, Raph and Kelen? It could happen! Let me know what you want to see! 


End file.
